I didn’t need to have a spouse before I started living life to the fullest.

Turning 30 has been enthralling. To be even more specific, turning 30 and being single has been enthralling. Honestly, I’ve been a little surprised myself at the joy I’ve been experiencing. Throughout most of my twenties, I desperately longed for a husband. I lived in an area where most people get married and started having children very early.
As my single friend group began to dwindle, comparison gave birth to loneliness and the lie that I was missing out by not having a husband. I was told many times—mostly by married Christians—to just focus on my relationship with God or that in this season of life I was married to Jesus.
While deepening my relationship with God has brought me immense satisfaction, hearing this advice often caused more hurt. There was often a lack of acknowledgement that singleness could be difficult at times. “Just focus on Jesus” was touted as an instant solution to the emotional and physical longings that I had to learn to steward over time.
I know the last thing a person “in waiting” wants to hear is they just need to wait some more. But the real shift in my life concerning singleness happened when I realized I didn’t need to wait for anyone. I didn’t need to have a spouse before I started living life to the fullest. God helped shift my perspective from what every married couple has to what Joylanda currently has—time.
I have time to travel whenever and wherever I want. I have time to take a two-hour nap on a Saturday afternoon. I have time to hang out with friends or time to just enjoy God’s company. I have time to try out new hobbies and experience new cultures. I have time to go on shopping sprees and time to build my savings.
I have time to stay up late and time to snooze my alarm. I have time to experience the joy of being content with myself because my confidence isn’t rooted in a marital status but rather in my identity as God’s daughter.

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