We may not be able to control our challenges, but we always have a choice in our reaction.
As women, we all come into adulthood with a certain set of expectations, no matter our background, education level, or social status. These expectations encompass our careers, our relationships, and how we view our parenting journey.
As my husband and I were approaching our fifth wedding anniversary and struggling to get pregnant, I made the decision to change my career from a corporate focus to our church. God had a different plan because three weeks into that new venture, at the age of twenty-nine, I suffered a hemorrhagic stroke. I was unconscious within an hour of calling the paramedics and woke up seventeen days later from a drug induced coma, paralyzed on the left side. Our plans aren’t always God’s plans and after two brain surgeries and a two-month hospital stay, I left the hospital in a wheelchair.
After years of therapy and hard work to regain my mobility and independence, we decided to start our family through international adoption. Eight years post-stroke-we adopted a sibling group of three older children. I never lost the love and yearning I had to be a mom, and we both held tight to James 1:27 NIV that says, “Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress.”
Our parenting journey through the years was one of both blessings and challenges. No child comes with an instruction manual, especially older adopted ones. So many times, our experiences are shaped by our expectations going into the experience, our lack of control during that journey, and our response to uncontrollable circumstances. During challenging times, I have to remember Romans 5:3-5 NIV that says, “suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope."
We may not be able to control our challenges that are different than the expectations we started out with, but we always have a choice in our reaction to our circumstances. I tell my kids today that even through our uncertain times, they have given me the greatest gift by allowing me the opportunity to be a mom and now a grandma.
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